Seven Things I Plan To Do Before I Die
--Make every day Talk Like a Pirate Day
--Find me other leg.
--Help Mr. Freeman dig thar tunnel back to the ol' complex and find me parrot. Plus I'll help meself to th' gold if 'e finds et.
--Continue to git sozzled on rum.
--Continue to dance on that nice corpse I got that time in Barbados.
--Learn all the jigs there is and their hornpipe accompaniment, which is so pleasant of an evening in the captain's quarters.
--Bury more treasure in the new ZU complex. Arrr, it does me 'eart good to know it's safe 'n sound in the ground.
Seven Things I Can Do
--Sever'l ver' nice jigs.
--Nail a doubloon through the mainmast.
--Stump around on me pegleg in the middle of th' night and scare me some chilluns.
--Get me sabre into me scabbard on the first try.
--Decapitate any ventriloquist dummy that dares git in me way.
--Drink more rum than' ye.
Seven Things I Cannot Do
--talk to Mr. Freeman when sobered up. Or face to face.
--Unnerstand what me parrot says.
--stand for tofu nuggets in the dining hall.
--remember whar' I buried me treasure on the old ZU lot.
--unnerstand what Mr. Freeman is on about when he's yelling in 'is office at three in th' bloody mornin'.
Seven Things That Attract Me To Another Person
--a pegleg or stylish hat.
--a fancy sword.
Seven Things I Say Most Often
--"Keelhaul the hornswogglers!"
--"Stay away from me gold!"
--"'Ar ar ar, you'll nivver catch me now!"
--"Keep that up an' ye'll be sleepin' with th' fishes."
--"Get away from me ye bloody fool! I've got a hook!!!"
Seven Celebrity Crushes
--That saucy dame that runs the supply room.
--Helena Bonham Carter
Thar. An' I ain't taggin' no one except the Mysterious Stranger, that bastard.